“A friend is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.”
I’ve been thinking about my friends these past few days and checked out some of our old photos in my Facebook account. It’s just so nice to reminisce those moments when we were together when we were so young, wild and free (I would say free of responsibilities. Haha!). Those times when we were just sitting and randomly rambling about home works, interests, crushes, relationships, love life, schools, careers and a lot more. Those moments when we have plenty of time for our crazy-nothingness-and-little-bonding. I can’t stress enough how I miss my crazy friends! That’s why I’ll be sharing my experiences and what I’ve learned (and still learning) in regards to my friends’ zone. Let’s start with the definitions I got from Merriam-webster.com :
Friends \ noun\ˈfrend\
: a person who you like and enjoy being with
: a person who helps or supports someone or something (such as a cause or charity)
Friendship \ noun \ friend·ship \ˈfren(d)-ˌship\
: the state of being friends : the relationship between friends
: a friendly feeling or attitude : kindness or help, given to someone
These are SOMEof my precious moments with SOME of my F.R.I.E.N.D.S.!
THE GANG. Co-workers from youth ministry in our church turned friends then family. (Insert my absent friends from these group photos. Sa sobrang dami namen, hindi kami nakukumpleto.)
SNG – Sunday Night Group. Because we always hang out on a Sunday night after our Church activities. (Insert Bowen, Zion and Raynard)
GIRLFRIENDS. (Insert Grasya, Ate Joan, Ate Shereen, Ate Aireen, Ate Meanne)
BEES/Bs. Because we have our own nicknames for this group that starts with letter “B”. They are my certified food trip and movie buddies.
RENOCH. Rencie, Noel, and Chuchay. We are the crazy trio!
BESHIE/BESH. Since 2004
SISTERS. By heart and partners in crime
BILABS. Twin from another mother
MGs. The original Make-up Girls’ Cess and Chanelle
Peers and Friends (since college) *Insert peer Phem, Thed and Jem
Meanwhile, I’ve been reading the book Besties written by Solenn Heussaff and Georgina Wilson that enthusiast me to write about this topic. It’s really a good book that will inspire people, especially women, and will help readers to boost up their confidence. They shared their embarrassing and shameful moments, their successes, tackled a lot of pointers in cosmetics and fashion and some real-life issues. And one of their topics was about their friendship – as besties(best of friends). For Solenn, this is her own definition of friendship,
“It’s the same with any relationship. It’s about being understanding, making time for each other, being trusting and comfortable enough that you can say something when you think the other might be in the wrong.”
Agree? I have a lot of friends that consistently have this kind of friendship – which I’m grateful for. I couldn’t imagine my life would be without them. They are for keeps and they really deserve to be treasured. Friends.com also stress that,
“Friendship is often considered as a mutual and agreeable relationship between two individuals, and that’s a good thing, as it has been said that a person who finds a true friend has found a priceless treasure.”
But time flies so fast and we’re grown-ups now. Everything has changed. We have set our different priorities and we have our own lives now as an adult. Like me, I moved here in Cebu with my entire family and live here for good. It was so hard for me to let go and accept the fact that I would barely see my friends. Maybe I’ll see them again by chance or if they’ll visit me here or in some special occasions na lang, not the usual set-up where they’re just one text away and they’ll be at my side. That’s painful but I need to get used to it.
However, not seeing your friends doesn’t mean that your friendship has been depleted. In fact, it could make your friendship stronger because it’s being tested. More of, your relationship with your friend will get deeper when you encountered issues. It’s not always a smooth-sailing-fun-filled-relationship. I have experienced it a lot of times with some of my favorite friends. To the point of ignoring each other for months like strangers, mandating my own self not to see them and create a wall between us because they said and did something that caused me too much pain. And to the extreme, where I’m almost ready of settling and calling it off as F.O. (Friendship Over) because of the damaged that has been done. Good thing, we didn’t give up! Through those experiences, we knew who were the real ones!
“It’s easy enough to find people whose vibes go with yours, but I think you know you’ve landed a real friends when you can get through difficult things with them. Friendships can be convenient and fun, but you should also be able to speak out and say how you feel, and the right ones are there to help you get through the obstacles.”
Let us accept the fact that the only constant in this world is change. So people will change as well. Like, changing marital status from being single to a married person, from a girl turned to be a lady, or from a woman to a mother or changing of your best/closest friend’s priorities in life or maybe working abroad or moving in a different town or away from you. Maybe not the usual thing when you were both young and you were still together in school and doing the same things – same vacations, same parties, or same friends. When that happens, your best/closest friend’s life will be different. But real friendship also means being ready and able to accept changes like that. When you both grow up, you all get different jobs and interests in life. We have to keep in mind that there are people in every stage of your life that constantly move in and out of your life – that’s just how it works. Here’s another piece of advice from the book that I read:
As you go through the different stages of your life, it becomes clearer and clearer which friends are always going there for you – regardless of what you’re into, or how often you see each other, or who your other friends are. By that point, what you’re left with is a family.
So let’s keep and treasure those people who are true to us, who’s always willing to correct and rebuke us to our wrong doings and will always help us to grow as an individual. It’s not about the numbers of friends you have, it’s all about how truthful they are to you. Your real friends that you could be labeled as a family, are your priceless treasure!
Your loving friend,
PS. Some of my friends might not be included in my photos but that doesn’t mean that you’re not one of them. You know by your heart that you’re part of it. Thank you for staying in my life! You know that I love you and I cared for you! 💖