I am seven years ahead of my younger sister’s age. She was actually the unexpected daughter who came into our family because our parents never thought of having a 3rd child. The real plan was just two kids – me and my eldest sister, Rhobie.
At first, I really don’t like her (and she knew that) but don’t get me wrong! I love her and I don’t hate her. I just didn’t like her because she took my crown and spot of being the baby girl, or shall I say is the “bunso“. I felt like she has taken everything from me – my parents’ attention, favor, and perks of being the bunso itself. As we grew up, there was the love and hate situation between us unlike with the relationship that I had with my eldest sister when we were young – where we really shared everything to one another like best of friends. We didn’t share the same room when I entered teenage life. I didn’t get to know her on a deeper level. We just knew each other because we’re sisters but not close enough to open up ourselves to one another. There was a barrier between us. A barrier that I made all because of selfishness.
The Lord changed my heart when I got back to minister to the youth. I was 20 years of age at that time and I was one of the leaders who handled girls ages 13 to 18 and facilitated them – same age with her. The Lord gave me a burden to reach out to those who were lost, to lead them toward God, and to inspire them to avoid worldly things like what I’ve done when I was in the wilderness. He also opened my eyes and enlightened me that our family is our first ministry. And during that time, my sister wasn’t involved yet to any youth fellowship or gatherings. How come that I wanted to reach out to other people than my sister? I was rebuked!
The Lord gave us an opportunity to know each other’s interests and to get even closer. From youth ministry, we also got involved to worship ministry. Still, I was her leader back then and I am her sister as well. We were both crazy and we jived when making fun of things. We have the same interest when it comes to music. We had adventures together with her friends and treated her some time for a movie date or food trips. I really tried my best to reach out to her. Yet I didn’t get into her heart, her deeper self. I haven’t heard her secrets most especially about her love life. Until I realized that I was more of being a leader than a sister to her. I somewhat over used my power and authority so that she’ll listen to me. I was an authoritarian at some point. I was so strict and got over protective on her because I didn’t want her to commit the same mistakes that I did before. That’s all because of the love and care that I have for her. Little did I know, I mistakenly forgot to trust her.
The year 2015 to 2016 was different! This time, the Lord changed the both of us! Because of the tragedy and most painful situation that we’ve been through, He led us and taught us to hold on to each others’ hands. God knew that we can’t face our struggles and hardships alone. He let our friends abandoned us but He revealed to us that the most trusted people that we have are our family. God left us with no choice and taught us to be transparent to whatever we felt that time. We were so open for rebukes, to encourage one another and got even closer.
What we’ve been through might be the darkest days of our lives but it turned out to be a blessing. He allowed things to happen because He wanted us to be the better version of ourselves. Those spiritual bruises and heart aches made us even stronger because we found strength from one another.
To my sister Ruth Joy,
That was our story. The Lord let me wrote it to help us understand that He has seen everything and He has a purpose. You were also a God’s way to taught me something and be better. You’re a blessing in disguise naman pala! Haha
First, I thank you for your life. You really brought joytoourfamily in any way. And yung pagka-insensitive mo has an advantage din. Hindi ka marunong magtanim ng sama ng loob and you know how to let go of things easily. For you, every day is another day. You manage how to leave the past in the past. And that made your heart even bigger! Antaba na nga ng puso mo ’cause you really know when and how to humble yourself. Keep it up!
Now that you’re working na din, I wanted you to soar even higher to reach for your dreams. You’re getting there – letting go of childish acts and getting that maturity level. It was all because you tuned your heart with God’s heart beat. So continue to dig deeper on to His love and His Word. I know that you elevated yourself when it comes to your spiritual aspect. The way to think and your actions can tell.
To your love life naman, only the Lord knows who is the best for you. Always be reminded not to settle anything less than you deserve. And when that man comes, hayaan mong si Lord and magreveal sayo kung sya na talaga and let Him be the center of your relationship. I pray that your man will guide you and bring you closer to God. Pero syempre, paunahin mo muna ako! Haha
My selfishness and lack of trust were the reasons behind the barriers between us. But now, I wanted to trust you. To trust your instincts, your decisions, and your heart because you’re grown up now. Like what I’ve said nung nasa 7/11 tayo, I cannot control you and I have to let you pick your own choices because that’s your life after all. I’ll be here to guide you, to give you my concerns and opinions, and to correct you when your not on the right path. I will support you all the way kahit sometimes I can’t get rid of the fact that your no longer our makulit na baby sister.
Like most sisters, we’ve gone through different stages–from playmates to study buddies to besties to enemies to food buddies to shopping partners to travel buddies and so on and so forth. Of course, it won’t always be rainbows and butterflies between us. We will have our fair share of fights and tears through the years. But even so, I can honestly say I’ll always be here for you–cheering you on, supporting you in all your endeavors and even sacrificing time and energy when you needed me the most.
I won’t be the perfect ate that you wish, pero wala kang choice! Haha! Pero sabi nga sa kanta ng Us the Duo, “I won’t let you fall [and] I won’t let you go. No matter where you are I’ll be there”. Always!
I love you to the stars and back! 💗 Happy 20th birthday Tabs!
Your bidang-kontrabridang ate,
Rose Ann: Lee on oversized denim polo, Cotton on of black dress, Converse on sneakers Ruth Joy: SM Woman on denim polo, Penshoppe on high-waisted black pants, Primadonna on white sneakers